Jitendra Vaswani

50 George Carlin Quotes That Will Make You Successful 2022

Since his debut in 1961, Bob Dylan has been one of the most influential singer-songwriters in the world.

His lyrics have touched on topics ranging from politics to love, and his unique style has inspired generations of artists.

In this post, we’ll take a look at some of our favorite quotes by Bob Dylan. Whether you’re a fan of his music or not, these quotes are sure to inspire and provoke thought. Enjoy!

George Carlin Quotes 2022

George Carlin Quotes

1. “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.” — George Carlin

2. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin

3. “Religion is like a pair of shoes….. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” — George Carlin

4. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” — George Carlin

5. “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin

6. “I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently, I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.” — George Carlin

7. “I went to a bookshop and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” — George Carlin

8. “I don’t have pet peeves – I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.” — George Carlin

9. “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.” — George Carlin

10. “Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty, I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.” — George Carlin

11. “It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.” — George Carlin

12. “Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool.” — George Carlin

13. “I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” — George Carlin

14. “People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.” — George Carlin

15. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” — George Carlin

16. “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” — George Carlin

17. “But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money!” — George Carlin

18. “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” — George Carlin

19. “Religion is like a pair of shoes, find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” — George Carlin

20. “Just ’cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.” — George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes

21. “I finally figured out what e-mail is for. It’s for communicating with people you’d rather not talk to.” — George Carlin

22. “Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.” — George Carlin

23. “People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well, what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?” — George Carlin

24. “I will tell you one thing – the future, ain’t what it used to be.” — George Carlin

25. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” — George Carlin

26. “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.” — George Carlin

27. “When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.” — George Carlin

28. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” — George Carlin

29. “Have you ever noticed that anybody drive slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” — George Carlin

30. “That’s why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.” — George Carlin

31. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” — George Carlin

32. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” — George Carlin

33. “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ” — George Carlin

34. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”— George Carlin

35. “Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?” — George Carlin

36. “How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?” — George Carlin

37. “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.” — George Carlin

38. “The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.” — George Carlin

39. “Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.” — George Carlin

40. “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” — George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes

41. “Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.” — George Carlin

42. “When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America you get a front-row seat.” — George Carlin

43. “I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.” — George Carlin

44. “Everyone smiles in the same language.” — George Carlin

45. “Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ” — George Carlin

46. “It’s never just a game when you’re winning.” — George Carlin

47. “If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole aeroplane made out of that stuff.” — George Carlin

48. “People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well, what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day.” — George Carlin

49. “Not only do I not know what’s going on, but I also wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.” — George Carlin

50. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.” — George Carlin

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Conclusion: George Carlin Quotes 2022

George Carlin was one of the most insightful and intelligent comedians of our time. Though he is no longer with us, his words still ring true today.

His quotes about life, society, and human nature are both thought-provoking and humorous. We hope you’ve enjoyed this collection of George Carlin quotes as much as we have.

What is your favorite quote? Let us know in the comments below.

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